Privilege

I took these photos while looking for a card for my dad’s birthday. As I strolled through the aisles of cards, I found some engagement, wedding and anniversary cards. Most of these types of cards were for male and female couples. There were no cards that illustrated a gay or lesbian relationship. This reminded me of the reading White Privilege and Male Privilege by Peggy McIntosh. In the article, McIntosh defines white privilege as “an invisible weightless knapsack of special provisions, assurances, tools, maps, guides, codebooks, passports, visas, clothes, compass, emergency gear and blank checks”( McIntosh, 95). This means that whites are granted more opportunities than minorities. Also in general, men tend to have more opportunities than women because of their sex. The same is true for straight and gay couples. Straight people are given more opportunities based on their sexual orientation. Straight people are given the opportunity to live life without judgment, kiss in public without others disapproving of their lifestyle and to go through an interview without worrying about whether the interviewer is homophobic. In addition, it is easier for straight couples to adopt kids and get a wedding card with a man and women on it. It is harder to find cards for gay couples with members of the same sex found on the cover because society tends to see marriage as something that is between a man and women. Walking through the store and looking at the cards, I realized just how privileged I am. I don’t have to worry about not being able to find a card for my lover and I don’t have to worry about being judged because of I person I love. As Michael Kimmel said “Privilege is invisible to those who have it.” We tend to unaware of how privileged we are because we don’t have to worry about things that some minorities face every day. After taking this class, I have become more aware of how lucky I am to have the opportunity to go to college, live on my own, marry who I want to marry and hold hands with my boyfriend without being judged. I feel lucky that I can go into a store and buy a card that reflects my sexual orientation. I now realize some of the hardships some minorities may go through and I hope that one day our society can accept all sexual orientations, genders and races and provide them with equal opportunities.

Generic Language

I took this picture because I noticed that several people tend to use male generic language. Male generic language is words that claims to both include men and women, but actually only refers to men. In this case, my friend used the word “guys” to refer to both men and women. However, it seems as if she is just referring to men. Are guys only being told that about the trip for a reason? Are girls not included in this trip? Seeing words like guys, makes some women feel left out because they feel they are not being addressed. Taking this class made me realize that I also tend to use male generic language in my life. I tend to say guys when referring to a mixed sex group. I also tend to say things like fireman instead of firefighter. Now I am becoming more aware and am paying more attention to the language I use to describe groups of people. From now on, I will try to avoid using male generic language and include all sexes and genders. Since I want to be journalist after college, I think it is important to get in the habit of using inclusive language because it will help me to write more objectively in the future. For the past couple of weeks, I have been making an effort to use more inclusive language. I am now trying to say things like “peeps” and “people” to address a group of both men and women instead of guys. I am also starting to refer to freshman as first years. Men and women are equal and therefore should be addressed in the same way.

I think people should start using more inclusive language. Inclusive language is language that refers to both women and men. For example, in the second picture my friend addresses the members of the group as “everyone.” Using more inclusive language makes everyone feel addressed and involved in the conversation. This way it is more clear who the statement is geared towards.

Friendship

I had my friend take these photos because it shows a lot about gendered friendships. In general, activities and doing things tend to be the center of masculine friendships, whereas conversation tends to be the center of feminine friendships. For instance when female friends get together, they usually talk to further build their friendship. In general, girls show closeness by sharing their personal feelings, experiences, fears and problems. On the other hand, men tend to show closeness by doing activities. For instance when men hang out with one another, they tend to play sports, video games or watch a game. Since my friend and I are showing closeness by doing, we are engaging in a masculine style of friendship. One of the reasons I like to hang out with him is because I enjoy playing video games and some of my female friends do not. When I need a break from the stress of school and life, I send him a text to see if he wants to play. However, when I need someone to talk to, I text one my female friends. I find different values in both my relationships with men and women. In my friendships with men, I enjoy doing activities with them and playing games. It serves as a great distraction. However, I am glad I also have female friends to talk to when I need emotional support. I think it is good to have both styles of friendships in life. In addition, my male friends tend to come to me when they want to talk about something personal or emotional. I think they do this because girls tend to be good listeners and make talking about feelings a central part of friendship. Men also tend to go to females to talk because they don’t tend to get that support from their male friends. Women also tend to seek male friends when they want diversionary activities to take this mind off troubles because men are more likely to suggest diversionary activities to take a friend’s mind off his/her troubles. Because of this, I seek male friends when I want distractions and female friends when I need emotional support.

I generally enjoy doing activities with my friends rather than talking with them. Because of this, I tend to enjoy a more masculine style of friendship. However, this doesn’t mean I am masculine in all other areas. Gender is not a dichotomy, it is a spectrum. I may like masculine style friendships, but I also like feminine colors and clothing.

Gendered Food

I took this photo while grocery shopping. I was walking down the aisles and randomly came across these Skinny Girl Cocktails. Right when I saw it, I thought about why they call it skinny girl cocktails. Why can’t it just be called Skinny Cocktails? Is it because the people who made it think that girls want to be thin? Or maybe it is because they are going with the notion shared by society that girls are supposed to be concerned with their appearance? According to Wood, as part of going up gendered is teaching girls that they should be considered with how they look because appearance courts. The skinny cocktails are sending the message to women that it is ideal to be thin. It is also sending the message that girls should be concerned about their weight and count calories. It is also sending the message that men do not have to be concerned with their weight and appearance. However, this is untrue. I know some men who watch their weight and want to be healthy. Being considered about health and weight is not exclusively a feminine trait.

Later in the store, I came across these Hungry-Man dinners. These dinners are sending the message to men that it is okay for them to eat a lot. It is also sending the message to women that eating large quantities is masculine and therefore is an undesirable trait for women. According to Wood, part of growing up as a man is being taught to not act feminine. Since some associate dieting as feminine, then the men may be considered a sissy or girly for being considered about their weight. However, the assumption that men eat a lot of high calorie foods and women eat less and healthier food is not true of all men and women. Women can eat “manly” foods and men can eat “feminine” food. Food and cocktails are just food and cocktails anyways. They shouldn’t be separated by different sexes. There should be no such thing as girl food/drinks and boy food/drinks. Society should not tell women and men want they should or shouldn’t eat/drink. All food and drinks are created equal and everyone should be able to enjoy the food they want without being judged by society as being too feminine or masculine.

Drag Show

I took this photo at the drag show last year. Last year, my friends were performing the song Barbie girl at the drag show. My female friend dressed up like a boy (Ken) and my male dressed up like a girl (Barbie). Looking back through my photos, this one stuck out to me. Before taking this class, I assumed that people who dressed up like the other sex were gay. I also thought that transgender people were gay and that transgender meant the same thing as transsexual. However, now I am aware that just because someone dresses in clothing associated with the opposite gender, doesn’t mean they are gay. They could just like that type of clothing better. Maybe those people are transgender. A transgender person is someone who thinks he/she was born the wrong sex. For example, someone can have female sex organs, but more closely identify with the male gender. Someone can also have male characteristics and more closely identify with the female gender. However, being transgender does not mean you are gay. Someone can be physically a woman, mentally a man and attracted to women. Since they identify as a man, they are not gay. In addition, transsexual and transgender is not the same thing. Transsexual describes someone who undergoes a sex change operation or hormone treatment. Transgender people do not go through an operation and just remain in the body they were born with. The reason my friends performed this song at the Drag Show and dressed this way was to create awareness of gender stereotypes. Men and women are more than what they wear. Girls do not have to wear dresses, and men should be able to wear female clothing if they really want. Today’s society is becoming more accepting of women wearing men’s clothing. I see several women wearing jeans, jerseys and t-shirts. However, the same is not true for men. Why can’t men also wear skirts and dresses without being judged? Society should not tell men and women how to act and it should not tell them what to wear either. Society should also not put on labels on those who dress like the opposite sex. Not all of them are gay or even transgendered. There is nothing wrong with being transgendered or gay anyways. It is not hurting anyone, so we should be accepting of everyone, no matter how they dress or identify themselves. They are just people like you and me.

Gender Roles

I took these photos because one of my male friends did something that went against stereotypical gender roles. One day my roommate made breakfast for us. After we were finished, my male friend offered to do the dishes. This went against stereotypical gender norms because women are usually seen as the ones responsible for housework and cleaning whereas society usually sees men as the breadwinners. Breadwinners are the ones responsible for working and earning the income for their families. The roles that society assigns men and women are not a dichotomy. Men can do the housework, cooking and cleaning. Women can also be the breadwinners and earn the money to help the family survive. In one of my family friend’s household, the husband takes care of his daughter, cooks and cleans the house while his wife goes to work. In addition, just because one does the housework, doesn’t mean that they can’t also work. I believe household responsibilities should be equally divided among the family and partners. That way there may be less nagging if something doesn’t get done or there may be more quality time to spend together. If each member does a part in housework, the job will get done faster.

I was surprised when my friend offered to do the dishes. Usually, my male friends just sit and talk while the girls get up to do the dishes. They usually don’t even offer to help. They just sit and watch us do the work because it is our duty. The same thing happens to me at family gatherings. My grandma usually tells the girls to do the dishes after we are done eating, while the men just sit around and talk. This goes back to the American Dream ideal where the women do the housework and the men earn the money. I thought that the men in my family should also be asked to do the dishes. Despite our different sexes, we are the same. Since men and women are virtually the same, both sexes should have equal rights and responsibilities. Thus, men should also be responsible for dishes.

Artifacts

I took these photos while I was shopping at target. I was walking by the toy sections and thought about the reading on artifacts. The toys in the different sections send messages about what boys and girls are supposed to do and how they are supposed to behave. For example, most of the toys in the girls section were baby dolls and accessories for the baby dolls. This sends the message to little girls that they are supposed to be nurturing and take care of babies. It also leads to the assumption that little girls will become stay at home mothers and that their role in life is taking care of kids and the house. I also noticed that the background on the girls’ toys was pink, which is a stereotypical color for girls. Most of the toys in the boys section were action toys. I walked down the aisles and saw many Legos, swords and action figures. This sends messages to boys that they are allowed and supposed to be more aggressive. It also provides boys with the opportunity to build and construct things (143-144). These toys invite boys to be competitive and active. I also noticed that the background of the boys section was blue, which is a stereotypical boy color. Also, because the toy sections are sex-segregated, it is sending the message that boys and girls do not normally play together and that they play with different toys. I think that way artifacts are sex-segregated is unfair. Not only does it point out a difference between boys and girls, but it also falsely teaches young kids what it is like to be a boy or girl. Through these toys, young boys learn that are supposed to be aggressive and competitive, whereas young girls learn that are supposed to be caring and nurturing. Boys should be able play with baby dolls and girls should be able to play with Legos and lightsabers. Normally boys who play with girls toys are looked down upon and called names such as “sissy” or “gay.” Girls who play with boy toys are usually told that they are being too aggressive and young ladies shouldn’t act that way. Why does society assign roles like these to boys and girls? If society got rid of these social rules and constructions, then anyone no matter their biological sex can play with anything they want without being made fun of or looked down upon.

Gendered Colors

I took this photo after playing some WII with friends one night. I noticed that one of the WII remotes was pink and the other was blue. One of my male friends refused to play with the pink remote because he claimed it was a girl remote. He insisted upon using the blue remote because he was a boy. These colors are also often used to distinguish between the two sexes. Girl babies are wrapped in pink blankets, whereas boy babies are wrapped in blue blankets. I think that separating boys and girls based on colors is like trying to categorize someone and leads to stereotypes regarding colors and gender. A stereotype is defined as “a generalization about am entire class of phenomena based on some knowledge of some members of the class” (Wood, 124). A stereotype of women in this culture is that they like pink. A stereotype of men is that they like the color blue. However, some girls don’t like pink, just as some boys don’t like blue. My male cousin likes pink and even sported a pink wrist brand for Breast Cancer Awareness. Stereotyping women and men based on colors is wrong. Growing up, I remember my sister and I were given presents that were mostly pink and yellow. My favorite color growing up was pink and her's was yellow. However, when my brother was born, most of his gifts were blue. I started to believe that certain colors were boy color and certain colors were girl colors. For a while I refused to wear anything blue because I thought blue was only for boys. However, as I got older, I realized it doesn’t matter if I wear pink or blue. Colors are just colors. Our culture uses colors to tell the difference between boy babies and girl babies. This doesn’t mean that I have to follow the norm. I don’t have to dress in pink to be a girl. Gender is society’s view of how the different sexes should behave. It is not static and can change over time. Maybe one day the colors for babies will change to a more gender neutral color for both sexes. Maybe one day all babies will be wrapped in green blankets.

Female Workout Clothes

I took this picture while shopping with friends in Santana Row. We walked into Lululemon, which is a store that sells workout clothes. While walking around the store, I found that several of the workout outfits were “fashionable” and designed to make one look cute while exercising. I took this photo because it demonstrates a part of our cultural view of gender. It reflects the view that women are supposed to want to look cute at all times. Seeing the workout skirt, reminded me of when my mom bought me several outfits when I told her I would take tennis lessons with my brother. She was excited that I agreed to take tennis lessons, because it encouraged my brother to get exercise and it also meant that she could buy me tennis outfits. I came home from school one day to find an array of “cute” tennis outfits. She bought me a skirt, skort, purple shorts and even a tennis dress. I didn’t like the idea of wearing skirts to work out in. When I work out, I don’t think about looking cute. I work out to be healthy and tend to sweat and look gross. I didn’t think that wearing a cute outfit would make any difference. Work out skirts goes back to one of the issues of femininity listed in the text book, appearance still counts. Girls are taught that they have to be pretty, slim and well-dressed to be desirable in life. Girls also tend to be judged by their looks and thus some may believe that they have to look good all the time, even when working out or playing sports. In addition, female athletes are often judged based on their appearance more than their athletic ability. When a woman is playing sports, the commentators usually comment on her appearance and what she is wearing. News stories about female athletes often say things such as “Venus is sporting a cool new outfit” or “she has gotten back into shape.” However, stories about male athletes tend to focus on their abilities (120). This goes to show that our culture views men and women differently. It also shows that men are taken more seriously when it comes to sports. Our culture has set aside stereotypes for different genders and acts upon those stereotypes by creating things they think women will like. The designer probably thought that girls liked to always look cute, even while playing sports. Therefore, he/she designed that skirt.